Stacy London is bringing power to the pause.
By Alison Green
Photographer Harold Julian
Creative Director Nhi Mundy
Beauty Rebecca Alexander
Stylist Stacey Cunningham
Photo Assistant Mikala GalloAbove: Staud dress, jewelry model’s own
For over a solid decade, we collectively watched Stacy London strategically dismantle women’s wardrobes as co-host of TLC’s long-running reality TV behemoth What Not to Wear. The beloved makeover show centered itself around a handful of style rules, but beneath its snappy and sparkly facade, it exposed the vulnerable and transformative power of change while opening the door to a more evolved sense of self through a closet revamp.
After two decades and many unfathomable style evolutions, I instantly recognized the animated warmth and intensity that cemented London’s reputation as a trusted and relatable style guide. “I’m not in the business of telling people what to do anymore. I think the days of ‘should’ are over,” she laughs. “Personal style is about what brings joy and what fits into the narrative of your own life. The most important part about style now is that it has the power to deflect or reflect…but you’re in control of the message.”
She is still in the business of transformations, but now her laser focus and massive influence are directed at a different target: changing the narrative around menopause. London is part of a growing movement to reimagine what midlife looks and feels like, aiming to imbue the middle chapter of our lives with a renewed sense of excitement, wonder, and style. Essentially, to evolve a crisis into a renaissance. “We are all evolving all the time. With technology, life isn’t so linear anymore. We’ve given ourselves permission to not be one thing for a lifetime, and when you get to midlife, your values start to change. Menopause is the shiny gate that opens up to a new world. It is a real-life transition, and the fact that no one understands it and we don’t honor it comes from our very patriarchal society. It’s ripe for disruption. I believe this is going to be the legacy of Gen X, to normalize and optimize and democratize menopause, so that when Gen Z gets here, they’ll know what to do.”
“I’m not in the business of telling people what to do anymore…Personal style is about what brings joy and what fits into the narrative of your own life. The most important part about style now is that it has the power to deflect or reflect…but you’re in control of the message.”
Above: Ivy Kirk dress
London is leading her new initiative the same way she does everything—vibrantly and authentically. She attempted to pitch a television show about midlife transformation and was told no one would watch it, and at the same time was hit by an onslaught of menopause symptoms. “Menopause destroyed me,” she says with her typical refreshing frankness. “I wanted to talk about it because it happened to me, and it happened in a way that made me feel stupid, angry, and sad. I thought, ‘This experience was so bad—I cannot be the only one.’ I wanted to know where the support systems were, and frankly, we’re in the midst of making them right now. Out of the person came the universal, which is exactly what I had done on What Not to Wear.”
She began to witness a growing reluctance within her generation to go quietly into retirement-focused life, especially given the last three years forced us all to take deeper stock. She found herself disappointed with the lack of awareness and dearth of conversation around the entire experience of entering middle age as a person with female physiology. “Gen X is going to make midlife much more relevant, and by that, I mean we won’t give up the spotlight,” she laughs. “I wanted to be a participant in creating this positive culture around what this new set of social values for us can be. It’s not about feeling like you have an expiration date, but that perhaps the values we held so dear do—youth, beauty, thinness, accumulation of goods. How do we change our value system to reflect where we are in our lives now?”
Never one to shy away from a bold move, she threw her cultural influence behind advocating for an empowered menopause experience by taking over as CEO of the State Of Menopause, an online platform with the mission to create products that lessen the often debilitating symptoms of menopause. She helmed the company for two years and built out its online community before deciding to wind it down to focus her energy on education, collaboration, and advocacy instead of hawking a product-driven model. “I took myself to business school and e-comm school, and DTC school. I did all these crazy things that were not my forte. My forte is to be a chief evangelist officer, not a chief executive officer.” In a life spent embracing the ebbs and flows of various evolutions, stepping away may have been her biggest move yet.
“Menopause is the shiny gate that opens up to a new world. It is a real-life transition, and the fact that no one understands it and we don’t honor it comes from our very patriarchal society. It’s ripe for disruption.”
“By making myself brand agnostic, I could maintain the trust of an audience that I’ve built over twenty years…That was perhaps the boldest thing I’ve ever done.”
Above left: Madeleine Marie dress, jewelry model’s own; right: Ivy Kirk dress, shoes model’s own
“I felt like I was misrepresenting what I wanted to do for this consumer. You’re talking about a consumer in such a high-need state—if you’re not being helpful, get the fuck out of the way. By making myself brand agnostic, I could maintain the trust of an audience that I’ve built over twenty years. Closing the company was hard; it was hard on my ego; it was hard for a lot of reasons, but all of them were right. Acknowledging that it didn’t work but that it was not a failure was very important to me. I did it in a way where I didn’t make excuses or apologize or explain myself. That was perhaps the boldest thing I’ve ever done.”
These days, London continues to get to know herself through a different transformation of sorts, one that has been known to test even the strongest of wills: renovating a 900-square-foot cottage surrounded by nine acres of tree-lined land in Narrowsburg with her girlfriend, musician Cat Yezbak. A born and bred Manhattanite, she moved to Brooklyn in 1993 and never looked back, except for a little voice in the back of her head pulling her north. “It had always, always, always been my dream to have a house upstate.” During COVID, she saw her opportunity and went for it, forgoing years of house hunting in the Hudson Valley for a cozy cottage and spacious property in Narrowsburg with a stream, waterfall, and tons of potential. “Brooklyn during COVID was dark. To be in nature somewhere that felt beautiful and safe was such a gift.” She is facing down construction with her usual fearlessness, though the renovation is proving to be an exercise in patience, showing this fast-talking, ever-evolving New Yorker the worthwhile beauty of slowing down her pace. “The goal is that over the next half of our lives, we create something beautiful up there. We love the community, and we love the people we have found there. It’s such a respite from the city with such yummy food.” She pauses and laughs, “But it’s taken over a year to get one bathroom done, so it’s probably going to take a lifetime.”
“Menopause is not the end of the conversation; it’s the beginning. Where is the modernity? Where is the style? What is being in midlife really like? What about having an elevated and exalted sense of taste because we’ve had so much time to get to know ourselves? That feels like an unbelievable achievement.”
Above left: Cult Gaia marabou jacket worn over Kule top, Salvatore Ferragamo trouser; right: Max Mara jacket, Madeline Marie dress
It takes most people a lifetime to embody the brazen and no-BS boldness that seemingly comes naturally to London. From the snappy one-liners that mesmerized TV audiences in the early aughts to her grounding attitude towards the privilege of aging, her honesty and vulnerability are magnetic and feel almost revolutionary, especially from a public figure. “We need to look at midlife through a new lens. The older I get, the more the edges of the patriarchal lens are apparent to me. I’m trying to pull out any roots that I’ve internalized. That’s also what I want to encourage people to do. It starts with everyone thinking, ‘What do I want from my life in terms of my own happiness? Am I going to lament the loss of youth, or am I going to enjoy all of the experience and knowledge I have now?’ Menopause is not the end of the conversation; it’s the beginning. Where is the modernity? Where is the style? What is being in midlife really like? What about having an elevated and exalted sense of taste because we’ve had so much time to get to know ourselves? That feels like an unbelievable achievement.”
As she continues to work towards shifting society’s approach to menopause and midlife, it’s not hard to recognize the profound role that transformation has played throughout her entire public career. Her bread and butter have always been about guiding people towards changes that help them feel comfortable in their own skin and help them understand themselves better. “The patriarchal structure leaves us feeling uneducated, ashamed, and afraid of our own bodies. Those are the things I want to eradicate and in a funny kind of way, and that was also what I wanted to do on What Not to Wear,” she reflects. “How do we cement your sense of self-esteem? How do we get you to trust your own instincts? How do we get you to feel the best you’re going to feel to look the best you’re going to look at this stage? Because it is not the same as when you were younger, and there is grief and loss in saying goodbye to that. But there is also hope and wonder at where this transition is taking you.”
